Black Snake Moan (2006)

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, and Justin Timberlake.

Black Snake Moan is about a religious farmer (Jackson), whose wife is leaving him for his brother, that finds a nymphomaniac (Ricci) beaten on the side of the road, and chains her up in his house to help cure her.

One of the films very first scenes is of Justin Timberlake, who plays the boyfriend, Ronnie, fucking Christina Ricci, Rae, so I had already decided it would be good. They play a couple, Ronnie goes off to the war for a week, and Rae can't control herself. Lazarus (Jackson) finds her on the side of the road after her Ronnie's friend tried unsuccessfully to take advantage of her. Laz helps stop her sexual urges by caring for her and acting like a father. Rae confronts her own mother in a grocery store about sexual abuse she endured as a child at the hands of her mothers boyfriend, with her mom in the next room. Ronnie comes back, finds Rae at Lazarus' house, threatens to kill him, and then is told why she's there. Rae and Ronnie get married and the final scene is of them both having breakdowns on the side of the freeway, and Rae helping them both to stop, singing 'This Little Light of Mine.'

Black Snake Moan wasn't my favorite movie of all time but it was nice. I would rate it a 5 and I would recommend it to my mother.

Black Snake Moan currently holds a 66% critic rating and a 68% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Black Snake Moan trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7Z7Cf9IDGw

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462200/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/black_snake_moan/

All's Faire in Love (2009)

Starring Owen Benjamin, Christina Ricci, Matthew Lillard, and Louise Griffiths.

All's Faire in Love is about a college football player who, in order to pass a class and stay first string, has to work at a renaissance fair for 3 weeks.

The film opens with Kate (Ricci) in an office for an interview, where she strips out of business clothes and puts on a casual dress and walks out, proclaiming that she is an actress and cannot work a stuffy job. Will (Benjamin) is on the field with his teammates, and they tell him that if he doesn't pass a class, he won't be looked at by the NFL. So Will goes to his teacher, after never having attended the class, and the teacher tells him he'll pass him if he works at a renaissance fair for 3 weeks over the summer. Will arrives and is told he's to become the "fetch boy" and if he wants to pass, he must do everything the queen says, and he must play along, or be fired and fail. He meets Crocket (Lillard), who will be showing him around. He also meets the jester, Roy, and his unicorn hand puppet, Horny (Dave Sheridan), Kate, who is the "fetch girl," and her friend, Jo (Griffiths), who had a past relationship with Crocket. They are all peasants because they've lost the Grand Finale 5 years in a row. There's a villain troupe led by Rank (Chris Wylde), a noble, who do a whole bunch of weird evil things. As the film continues, Will tries to win Kate over as Crocket tries to reverse a curse put on him by a witch involving his, as he tells it, "wenis." The climax of the film revolves around Rank telling Kate that Will was with another noble, the 'princess', somewhat romantically, however, it turns out it was the Roy and Horny. So Kate gets angry, agrees to do the Grand Finale with the nobles, and won't listen to Will until he gets on stage and sings a song for her while playing the piano. There's a fight scene during a rendition of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet involving swords and rope swinging where Rank and his goons are defeated. The queen, and Will's professor, approach and tell the peasants that they have won and will be next years nobles and vice versa, after which Crocket proposes to Jo and they have a renaissance wedding. The end.

All's Faire in Love is obviously a romantic comedy. It's actually pretty cute, all things considered. Benjamin's acting is an abomination, it's like he's trying very hard, and failing even harder, at being Adam Sandler. The fact that Ricci almost convincingly played his love interest shows her own acting ability, even though that, too, was hard to watch. The part of the film where Kate is told of Will's 'infidelity' and she refuses to hear him explain things was far fetched and annoying. What actual human being won't listen to the reasoning of another human they've known for only a few weeks, after being told something about them by another human that they all know is supposed to be evil? Especially since it was a renaissance fair? Meaning, it's happening in modern times and they all know it's all pretend? It was unbelievable, even for a movie like this. Also, did Crocket and Jo really get married, or was that a fair thing? Because they really left that part largely unanswered. The plot holes were noticeable; they held a dog hostage with a crossbow to get Kate to play Juliet. Can I say again, it was all fake? Just weird.

My love for Christina Ricci and Matthew Lillard saved this film from completely dying, I would recommend it to people who enjoy romantic comedies with crude humor. Teenage boys, drunk people, older than teenage but not yet middle aged boys, etc. 4/10.

All's Faire in Love currently holds a 7% critic rating and a 40% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

All's Faire in Love trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkWY6Qdm058

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034090/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alls_faire_in_love/

Bel Ami (2012)

Starring Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci, and Kristin Scott Thomas.

Bel Ami is about a French soldier (Pattinson) who climbs the French social order by sleeping with the most powerful women. He manipulates people with charm and seduction until his ultimate social demise.

The film begins with Pattinson's character, Georges Duroy, at what I can assume is a brothel, where he runs into a fellow soldier and old friend. The friend invites him to dinner with his very powerful social circle. Pattinson's character then sleeps with a prostitute. At dinner, he meets the women and they inform him that the men are not the ones holding power, but the women. He begins having secret sex with Clotilde de Marelle (Ricci) in a "love nest" that she has purchased. He attempts a career as a journalist, only to be told he writes like an 'errand boy' by his soldier friend, and then fired. Soon after, his friend dies, and Duroy marries his wife, Madeleine Forestier (Thurman). She begins writing stories for him, which he successfully sells to the newspaper. He discovered that his new wife is sleeping with a Count, so he begins to meet with the third and final powerful woman, Virginie Rousset (Thomas). His wife admits to knowing what he wants, power, above all else. He is left out of plans, he begins to lose any power he had acquired. He attends a party, where is wife arrived with someone else, and partygoers stare at him with contempt. He gets the police to infiltrate the apartment where his wife is sleeping with another man, and she is charged with adultery. Duroy then marries the young daughter of Virginie in a ceremony filled with the people he had manipulated, including the 3 women. As he and his new bride walk back down the aisle, the camera shows the crowd standing and they pass the women. Virginie in the front, being forced to stand, dressed for a funeral. Madeleine, not standing, in the middle, wearing a beige and red silk dress, making a challenging face, as if she knows a secret. And Clotilde appears at the very end, standing, and smiling at first sadly, and then like she, too, knows a secret. Duroy walks triumphantly out of the church.

Bel Ami was confusing, to say the least. I could tell it was about a heartless, talentless man who would do anything for power. He seduces women to get where he wants, almost with no feeling at all. The only times in the film he appeared to be anything remotely caring, was when he was with Ricci's character, Clotilde. Ricci played Clotilde as innocently as possible, for a married woman with a child. Perhaps we could even say she was trusting. She was the kindest. Thurman played a likewise manipulative character, one whom Duroy used the most for power. His feminine equal, so to say, rivaled him in ways I cannot begin to name. Thurman played Madeleine coldly. Even when she was supposed to be emoting, it felt mechanical. Not forced, just unbelievable. Virginie, played by Thomas, was the oldest of the 3 women, and perhaps the most powerful of them all. Her husband was the editor, it seemed, of the newspaper. It was his daughter he smartly agreed to let Duroy marry, to obviously avoid scandal. I thought Thomas was wonderful. She played the fool. Her character so easily believed that Duroy wanted her, and then was hysterical to find out what he really was. It was magnificent, especially the scene where she walks in the room to tell her daughter she cannot marry him. As for Pattinson's portrayal of Duroy, it wasn't believable. I've seen films where he plays a heartless man, as well as films where he plays a kind one. His face was stiff, too guarded. For a man that so easily manipulated powerful people, he did not appear convincing. He seemed hostile when winning these people over, as opposed to open and friendly, which is what people usually cling to. Pattinson missed the part where, yes, he was heartless, but he kept that part mostly hidden. To hide true intentions, you must cover them up with others.

I would recommend this film to my mother, and perhaps my sister. It's a period piece, but one that doesn't too well enough to capture the fee of the period it is set in. 3/10.

Bel Ami currently holds a 28% critic rating and a 30% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Bel Ami trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlFlZVLG46c

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1440732/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bel_ami_2011/

Cosmopolis (2012)

Starring Robert Pattinson.

Cosmopolis is about a 28 year old billionaire businessman named Eric Packer (Pattinson) who wants to get a haircut across town on the same day the President is there, and a famous rappers funeral is being held. On the drive over, Packer meets up with multiple people who are important to his company and his personal life. Each person delivers insight on business, capitalism, revolution, and life. As he gets closer to his destination, his business, his fortune, and his life all dwindle, until he ultimately meets what should be his personal demise.

Cosmopolis is an existential film. Every scene shot, every line delivered, every gesture has a meaning. It's philosophical. The script is almost spoken in riddles. It's an elaborate poem. It speaks to the people, and what it says, it screams. Packer's character represents the 1%. He's impulsive. Overly demanding. He wants that haircut across town and absolutely nothing will stand in his way, not the fact that the roads are blocked, or there are violent protests. Not even threats on his own life. He meets up with his new 'old money' wife, who speaks matter-of-factly with a very breathy voice (and appears to represent original power and reason. She admits she likes hiding in the shadows) and attempts to get her to have sex with him. Upon her refusal, he then sleeps with other women. When she calls him out on it, he never denies what he has done, only tries to twist things around. He tries to confuse. He meets with multiple advisors and employees who discuss with and inform him of what's to come when capitalism becomes too much for the 99%. They speak of uprisings. Revolutions. To quote the film, "Destroy the past. Make the future." By the end of the film, the littlest little guy has him at gunpoint, telling him of all the things he has done to get him where he is. His wife is leaving him, he has no money, his empire has fallen. He is finished.

There's a sequence on a screen outside, shown through the limousine's window at one point, that states this message: "A scepter is haunting the world. The scepter is capitalism." This film is so beautifully scripted, so wondrously acted, it's hard to write any sort of opinion on it. It's a deep film, though it is obviously for the consumers, most of them would not understand a word of it. That's what capitalism, government, poor education, and dead end jobs have given us. Human beings that cannot compute eloquently worded messages, so obviously urging us to change things. Urging them to change things. People buy into that. They believe it with an odd sense of patriotism. They are so quick to believe our government has their best interests at heart, instead of how much cash they can rake in by the end of the day. And that is what this film is about. The 1% being told of their destruction as they are destroyed. I wish I could quote this film for the rest of my life. I'd like to paint its script on every surface, shout it from the mountain tops. Pay the fuck attention, America. Watch this. Educate yourself. Don't fall with them. Rise above them.

I would recommend this film to everybody I have ever met, alive, dead, or otherwise. 10/10 because it is so important. This film is important. The book it is based on is important. It's based on a book! Read the book! Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo.

Cosmopolis currently holds a 64% critic rating and a 33% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes. (Further proof that people eat what they are fed, while blindfolded and tied to a chair.)

Cosmopolis trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3ZmIwteUAY

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480656/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cosmopolis/

Lucas (1986)

Starring Corey Haim, Kerri Green, Charlie Sheen,  and Winona Ryder.

Lucas is about a very smart 14 year old nerd, Lucas (Haim), who meets a beautiful new girl in town (Green). She joins the cheerleading squad, and falls in love with the friendly jock (Sheen), and Lucas is jealous. Ryder plays the female best friend, who is in love with Lucas, that appears at the right moments to give all of the good advice. Lucas attempts to impress the new girl by joining the football team, and he gets seriously hurt in a game. He never wins over the girl, but he gets over the fact that beautiful girls date beautiful boys, and he is not one of them, and their friendship continues as so.

The film makes a point of showing how alienated and pathetic Lucas is. I mean, his life just completely sucks. He's supposedly highly intelligent, shrimpy, interested in bugs, he lives in a trailer park with his alcoholic father, and he's annoying. If you ignore his character completely, you can believe it's just a simple love story between the new girl and the popular jock, but no. You can't. Lucas is the title character. The one nice thing I would say about the film is that it isn't a fairytale. It never pretends that a dorky little boy could end up with a pretty older girl. I could imagine this story playing out in real life, actually. Compared to the "follow your misguided dreams" films of today, this film is a breath of fresh air. And it's 27 years old! The ending, where Lucas walks up to his locker surrounded by his bullies and opens it to find a varsity letterman's jacket with his name on, after which his bullies begin a slow clap, is the most believable happy ending I've seen, perhaps ever. Overabundance of hallway applause and all.

I would recommend Lucas to anyone. It was actually a delightful film. I'd rate it a 6.

Lucas currently holds a 69% critic rating and a 66% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Lucas trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlpZwtkc0H8

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091445/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lucas/

Great Balls of Fire! (1989)

Starring Dennis Quaid, Winona Ryder, Alec Baldwin, and John Doe.

Great Balls of Fire! is a biopic about the singer Jerry Lee Lewis, played by Quaid, who performed popular rock n roll songs, one of them sharing the title with the film. The film follows his life as an entertainer, as well as his personal struggles. Lewis married his 13 year old cousin, Myra (Ryder). A British reporter found out, exposed him, his career went down the drain immediately, and he plunged into alcoholism and abuse toward his young wife. His career never completely recovered.

I've never been much interested in Jerry Lee Lewis or his music, but after watching this film, I can say I am creeped out to the extreme by him. My confusion as to the legality of his marriage to his cousin is ever present. The fact that the movie says he even coerced her into it and Ryder's performance of a little girl nervously and uncomfortably marrying her "idol" cousin made me feel a little sick. The depiction of black people in the 50's as people that listen to "devil" music, grind on each other, and dance seductively on tables is absurdly racist. I'm not sure if there's a satire to be found here, perhaps the director is showing what white people thought or maybe he's showing what he believes to be true. Since the line is unclear, it's a bit uncomfortable to view. There's a lot of talk of Jesus, and again, it's unclear the motives behind it.

Alec Baldwin plays a younger pastor who preaches against rock n roll music, and his role is the best in the film. He plays the role with a Southern accent and such fervor that you cannot deny his authenticity. Dennis Quaid, on the other hand, is playing a 22 year old boy, whilst appearing 35, as arrogantly as humanly possible. I cannot help myself from feeling dirty and ridiculous every time he appears. I'm not sure if every person back in the 50's was that over the top casual or if it's a movie thing, but holy shit, it's invasive. I can understand the need for a big name to play Lewis, but could they not find someone younger or less mannequin looking? I don't even dislike Dennis Quaid, but I just don't feel he was right for this role.

I would recommend Great Balls of Fire! to fans of Jerry Lee Lewis, people who dislike Jerry Lee Lewis, and anyone with a great deal of nostalgia for the 1950's. I perhaps would give the film 4/10. This movie hurt me physically.

Great Balls of Fire! currently holds a 63% critic rating and a 52% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Great Balls of Fire! trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9aobri6wyg

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097457/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/great_balls_of_fire/

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (1990)

Starring Winona Ryder, Jeff Daniels, Thomas Wilson Brown, and Laila Robins.

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael is about an adopted 15 year old high school outcast, Dinky (Ryder), who is convinced that a small star, Roxy Carmichael, who is coming back to town for a dedication ceremony in her honor, is her biological mother. Daniels plays Roxy's ex-boyfriend and father of the baby Roxy had prior to leaving town. Brown plays Ryder's love interest, a popular boy, and Robins plays a guidance counselor who befriends Dinky. Flashbacks through the film depict Roxy at her home, and preparing for her trip. Right before she is about to walk out the door with her suitcase, she stops, opens the suitcase, and the scene cuts. By the end of the film, you learn that not only is Roxy not showing up, but she is also not Dinky's real mother, since Daniels' character says that baby is dead and buried.

The film manages to show Roxy's character without ever showing what she looks like. Her face is absolutely never shown, not even in photographs, at least, not to the viewers. At this point, I'm not sure if that added to, or took away from, the plot. Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael is a typical teen movie, especially one from the 80's.

Highly recommended to any and all teenage girls, this film wasn't the best, but I liked it well enough. 5/10.

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael currently holds a 44% critic rating and a 42% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-uRSRale-w

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100911/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/welcome_home_roxy_carmichael/